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Time, probably the only thing we all get the same amount of each day.  Everyone, no matter your social status, wealth, job, religion, career path, ethnicity, gender, good guys, bad guys, you, me, everyone has the same amount of time.  It is one of the great equalizers of life, as is birth and death.  We’re all in the same boat with these three things.

Birth is pretty much random and when it happens is out of your control.

Time is something you can work, or not, to your advantage by filling it productively with your choices.  Yes, certain amounts of time need to be used for sleep, work, tending to loved ones, but most of us usually have some time left each day to apply it to whatever we care to.

Then there’s this death thing, which unfortunately is included in everyone’s price of admission.   The phrase that always comes to my mind is “nobody gets out of here alive”.  Our amount of time here is mostly out of our control, but barring some accident you can probably do some positive and healthy things that may help to give you some additional time on the planet.  You can also take the reverse route and do less healthy, reckless and even harmful things to yourself that might cause you to leave the field of play early.

This brings me to my belated eulogy.  As I was getting ready for 2019 Life decided to throw a couple of wicked curve balls during the last weeks of December.  I was going back to NJ to visit family and long time friends, play music with some of these talented folks, and celebrate the holidays.  The day before I arrived a very good friend and bandmate that played drums for our music sessions passed away.  He was a friend for over 40 years and one of three people that I relied on while on the road for emails, texts and to keep me grounded.  He was also one of the few people in this world that would tolerate me as a golf partner.  His passing was a major blow to his family, our group of friends, his students and me.

Then a few days later I received a call, the day after Christmas, that my sister who regularly goes to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico was very ill and I needed to get to the hospital there pronto.  I had just spoken to her the day before on the phone and she sounded fine.  I booked a flight that would get me there two days later. She passed away before I arrived.  Another huge blow.  This was completely unexpected and threw our family, friends and her neighbors for a loop.  The suddenness of this was very tough to process at times.

So I’m thinking instead of a typical eulogy of remembering “lives well lived”, which they were, I hope it might be more useful to tell you of “plans not finished”.  These two unique, outgoing and gifted people who touched a lot of lives and did much with their own, departed with unfinished business.  I’m sure this happens to most, as we all want and expect to do more.  The fact of the matter though, from talking to them on regular basis, both thought they had time to get to more things they wanted to accomplish.  Don’t we all think like that… and hopefully we do have a lot more time.  However, if you’re counting on saving up all that “great stuff” you want to accomplish and do with your life for “later”, maybe you want to rethink that.

Perhaps you too can use these untimely passings as an example to get moving a bit more purposefully. Get a little busier working on your visions, or bucket list, or however you keep score, and put more of them on the front burner. If there are things you want to do or learn, experiences to try, or places to visit, whatever you expect to do some-day, how about picking some dates in the near future and get working on them to-day.  In remembrance of these two people who left this world way too soon, I plan to use them to remind me to keep moving forward even at those times I really don’t feel like it, enjoy this amazing planet and variety of people, have some fun, don’t take it all too seriously and get my own “great stuff” done… sooner rather than the elusive later.  I believe since we’ve been given the opportunity to be here and participate, we are somewhat obligated to do our best to leave an extremely short list of items that we wish we did, but didn’t.

You don’t have to do everything now and all at once, and you will need to make adjustments as life happens, but keep moving forward.  Remember that as slow as you may go at times, you’re still lapping everyone that is just sitting on the couch watching TV.  You may need help and support with some of the larger things you want to accomplish, or obstacles to clear.  Very normal and helpful, but don’t stop and wait expecting that the Cavalry is coming to save you, the responsibility of moving forward falls 100% to you.

Personally, I’m about 6 months late coming out of the chute on many of my 2019 plans and a lot of what I was/am going to accomplish this year.  To compensate and do what I could to keep moving forward, I increased my gym workouts, been concentrating on better eating habits and read a couple of dozen books while I’ve been tied up tending to closing my sister’s estate.  If your bigger more ambitious plans get side tracked for a while, work on other ways to move forward until you clear the hurdles or distractions.  Even small forward increments compound.

Your time and the gift of life are yours to use as you see fit.  Try not to get too caught up in all the distractions, drama and noise and work on crafting your life with more purpose and perhaps a touch more urgency.  I wish everyone the best in using your allotment of time and life wisely, hope you surpass your personal objectives and make yourself and those around you better.

To my sister JoAnn, I am indebted for the wonderful examples of how to find adventure and fun wherever you go, of confidentially traveling with little preparation and when someplace foreign to you and not sure what to do next, just hop on any city bus and see where it takes you.   

To my friend Stash, whenever I question my abilities, I’ll always try my best to “play it as it lies” on the course as well as in life.